Day 12
Week 2, Day 12: Breakthrough in Intimacy: Intimacy Is developed through Honesty and Truthfulness
Psalm 139:23-24
“Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!”
Intimacy with God is built on honesty. People are not afraid to reveal their weaknesses when they know they will receive loving help in return. David was able to ask God so boldly to search him because he trusted God to help him see the ways he wasn't walking in right relationship with God and others. There can be a temptation in our prayer life to spend little time on ourselves, filling our conversations with God with requests, or focusing instead on our disciplines, like how consistent our Bible reading has been, or how well we're doing with our fast. But the invitation of Psalm 139 is not for God to discover something he doesn't already know. It's an invitation for us to stop hiding from what he already sees.
In fact, David's prayer is startling in its vulnerability. He doesn't ask God to overlook his faults or to affirm what's already comfortable. He asks God to search him. To try him. To expose any grievous way in him. This is the language of someone who has stopped negotiating with God and started trusting him. David understood something we often forget: the parts of us we're most tempted to hide are exactly the parts God wants us to be honest about.
Every marriage, every friendship, every meaningful relationship we have deepens in the same way: through honesty. We don't grow close to people by managing their perception of us. We grow close to them by letting them see us, even the parts we're ashamed of, and discovering we are still loved. God is no different. He is, in fact, the safest place we could ever bring our true selves.
This is why confession matters so much in our relationship with God. 1 John 1:9 tells us, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." Confession isn't God requiring us to grovel before he'll love us. It's God offering us a doorway back into the light, back into relationship, back into the kind of closeness that can only exist where there is nothing left to hide.
Sin thrives in secrecy, and secrecy isn't always something we consciously choose. Sometimes it's shame, convincing us that if anyone truly knew what we thought, what we struggled with, what we've done, we would be rejected. But just as often, secrecy comes from simple distraction, staying busy enough, or unreflective enough, that we never stop to look. We don't examine ourselves, so we never have to be honest about what we'll find. Either way, the hiding becomes a wall between us and the God who loves us most. But God already knows. There is nothing about you that would surprise him, nothing that could make him love you less than he already does.
As you fast today, ask the Holy Spirit to search you the way David asked. As he brings things to mind, welcome your weakness, ask for forgiveness for your sin, and kind help for your inadequacies. Every honest thing you bring to him becomes a place where he meets you, forgives you, and draws you closer. Let this be a day of laying down the pretense and being uniquely you with God.
Listening Prayer: Holy Spirit, search me and know my heart. Show me where I have been hiding from you instead of running to you. Reveal any grievous way in me, and lead me, I am listening.
Prayer: Heavenly Father, thank you that you already know me fully and love me completely. Forgive me for the ways I have stayed on the surface with you, talking more about my requests and challenges, and silently proud of how good, or even how poorly, I am doing at my own spiritual disciplines. All of these things are still focused on myself and how well I am performing, rather than on you. Teach me to walk in honesty with you every day, so that my intimacy with you can grow deeper and more real. In Jesus' name, amen.
Resources: Bible verses on Honesty, Confession, and Intimacy with God
James 5:16 “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.”
Proverbs 28:13 “Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.”
Psalm 32:3-5 “For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long... I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the Lord," and you forgave the iniquity of my sin.”
Worship Song: